The Acidity of Technology in Dissolving Solitude
The Acidity of Technology in Dissolving Solitude
“for the first time in human history solitude is starting to fade away altogether.”
-Cal Newport
I grew up in a village of 120 people on a mountain range in the Pacific island of Papua New Guinea. The closest town was a week's hike, up treacherous mountains and down into gullets carved by pounding rivers, filled by the three hundred days of rain we got each year. Our house was so high in the mountains when the clouds covered the sky, they were not above us. They were around us. Every afternoon there was so much fog you couldn't see more than thirty feet in any direction. My family’s house sat on the edge of a mountain, five degrees less steep than a cliff. It was 24’ feet long, 24’ feet wide, and 22’ feet tall. Almost a perfect cube, with bamboo exterior walls and plywood interior. All the bedrooms were on the second story. For the first ten years of my life, I had the privilege of living in a bedroom with a large window facing east. Every morning, I woke up to the sun peaking over the next mountain range over, the sky filled with low clouds. It was a canvas of reds, oranges, pinks and golds, splashed all above the deep green jungle below. Every morning I would wake up in my bunk bed and watch the sky change as the sun rose. I was alone, drinking in the quiet. Solitude & CommunityThere are things you learn about life, God, and yourself, which can only be discovered when you are alone. Solitude is critical for human flourishing. Certainly there are also things about life, God, and yourself which can only be discovered when you are with others. A healthy rhythm of life incorporates the gentle vacillation between solitude and community. This back and forth is rooted in life’s very rhythm. It can be observed bodily, the heart rhythmically pounding out two pumps: beat and counter beat. Breathing as well, the filling of the lungs, breathe in, and the exhaling of the lungs, breathe out. Community ( interactions with others) is meant to be the “breathe in” portion of life, while solitude (time alone) is meant to be the “breathe out” portion. Inhale, exhale, repeat.
We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and private: and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship.”
-C.S. Lewis
Unfortunately Community and Solitude are not ideals/practices which remain untouched and unaffected by the world. It is not enough to just “engage in solitude and engage in community.” The type of community, and the type of solitude practiced matters. Engaging in codependent narcissistic relationships is not a healthy form of community. Locking yourself in a room for weeks on end is not a healthy form of solitude. This article seeks to examine only half of the solitude/community balance. Specifically, focusing on what healthy solitude looks like, and what keeps people from experiencing it. Solitude as Liturgy There are absolutely preconditions that must be met in order for solitude to actually be healthy. Just being alone is not enough of a determining factor. Chris Hazell put it so well in Grotto Network: "It’s common for people to think that solitude only refers to time spent extremely alone, such as a week locked in a remote cabin or a solo trek through a national forest. While these things can certainly offer a substantial dose of solitude, the truth is that most of us don’t have lives that realistically allow for that type of radical isolation on a consistent basis. Besides, even while doing those things, we could be still listening to our iPhones or checking in on Instagram — in which case, we aren’t actually engaging in solitude."Solitude should be repeated practice, it should be liturgy. And like all liturgy, the way solitude is practiced matters. The ideal that’s propped up so often is this Waldenesque narrative, locking yourself away for months on end. But for most, that’s not practical. While the world is starving for healthy solitude, the dosage for most should avoid extremes. Time alone does not require a cabin. More often than not, healthy solitude occurs in small to moderate doses. But solitude itself is not particularly hard to achieve. Healthy time alone is a different matter altogether.
Many people suffer from the fear of finding oneself alone, and so they don't find themselves at all.”
-Rollo May
Time Alone?My Fiancee and her family went to Montana for a three day river rafting trip. I stayed at their house, and watched the animals. I was excited for them for this trip, and for myself to have some time alone. I brought my Bible, a journal, and a few books I was excited to read. After taking them to the airport, I returned excited for my three day retreat of solitude. I was going to get to put into practice some of what I’d read on the subject. Blaise Pascal said once “all of humanity’s problems stem from a man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” I had the opportunity to push back against an unexamined life (thanks Socrates). It was fantastic...for the first couple of hours. Then I began to get bored. At first it was an itch, after praying and reading, I began to pace. I played a few games of pool in their family room. I made some tea and sat, and grew more and more agitated. In the afternoon of day one I decided it wouldn’t hurt to play a couple games of Black Ops II Zombies. I was probably right, if it had been a couple. But once I began to be entertained, the thought of going back into not being entertained was dreadful. I then watched an episode of Brooklynn 99. Then another. Then another. In the next three days I watched several seasons worth. Now the question for me is, what was so anemic about time to myself? Why couldn’t I spend three days, which I had already set aside the time for, without entertaining myself? And I believe I’m not in the minority in my questioning. Solitude Deprivation Solitude is easy to define, but hard to engage in. Most people are extremely solitude deprived. As Cal Newport says in Digital Minimalism, “solitude deprivation [is] a state in which you spend close to zero time alone with your own thoughts and free input from other minds.” This is not a place the average Western spends almost any time during the day. In fact, it is actively avoided. A study out of the University of Virginia demonstrated that people actually preferred electric shocks rather than being alone with their thoughts (The Atlantic). In the study participants were wiped up to a rig which, upon them pushing a button, would give themselves a shock. They had already tested the machine and knew the level of pain they would experience. However, when told to put away any distractions and entertain themselves, a quarter of the women and two thirds of the men shocked themselves. This concept of avoidance is not some subtle mystery either. It is highly observable. Examine people waiting for their drinks at any coffee shop. Over and over again you see people pull out their phones, hunched over, tap away for a little bit, pocket it, and then repeat the process a few seconds later. As soon as students get out of class, the headphones go in. I have friends who can’t fall asleep without the television being on. Have you ever stopped to wonder, what is that? Are they lucky enough to have this “disease” in the brief time in human history since television has been invented? Or is it more likely they have created this issue within themselves. One of my friends is teased a lot for how much time she spends in her room on her phone. I checked recently, her screen time is an average of 14 hours a day! Average! Sure gut reaction says that’s a lot. But the question is really, is this bad? Michael Harris in his book, The End of Absence: Reclaiming What We’ve Lost In A World Of Constant Connection exemplifies in great detail how the undisciplined use of technology has turned alone time into a rare commodity. Yet, while Harris arrives at solid conclusions, he doesn’t build upon them at all. Harris is unwilling to step into the prophetic role of calling out the culture he finds himself in. Enveloped in a postmodern spirit where “all viewpoints are valid (except the one which says this viewpoint isn’t valid)” Harris is unable to find within himself the ability to critique the situation. One can appreciate the heavy exemplification within Harris’ book, but also be willing to do the dirty work of actually calling out a culture. This begins with personal change, or it sidesteps immediately into hypocrisy. A prophet is called out (think Moses) before they are able to turn and call others out. But while the journey beforehand is important for the prophet, there is also the dual concept of journey together. Many modern prophets have begun to voice concerns on how technological habits are reshaping narratives. Here is the conclusion Harris’ data and many others point to: Entertainment technology strips self-reflection from solitude. Looking Inward Versus Turning InwardEntertainment technology is as acidic towards solitude as the batteries required to power it. Entertainment technology hijacks solitude and overboards the reflective possibilities it possesses, turning it into something uglier, something less humane. The potential good of solitude is morphed into something sinister. It’s the difference between looking inward and turning inward. Looking inward is critical, the “who am I questions” the soul asks are too important to be ignored. But the goal is not to utterly withdraw from society, to “turn inward on oneself”. Times of reflection are to be accompanied by times of relation. Social withdrawal is not the dream of a preferred reality being promoted. I’m not suggesting Hikikomori (the named phenomenon of more than half a million Japanese youth who haven’t come out of their room for six months or more) as the solution. Solitude absolutely can be taken in too large of doses. But even when observing Hikikomori, the solitude is sustained by entertainment technology. Whether agoraphobia or not, the mediating factor that keeps the recluse nature sustained is entertainment technology. After all, why leave your room, when everything you could ever want, is in there with you?Entertainment technology strips self-reflection from solitude. The goal of this entire work is to prove this point, and to encourage readers to step into healthier solitude. Defining Terms: Entertainment Technology, Self-Reflection, SolitudeIn order to prove this, terms must first be defined. Specifically, entertainment technology, self-reflection, and solitude. It’s worth noting in terms of definition, the order goes from least concrete to most concrete. Entertainment technology is anything that lights up or makes noise which requires attention and provides entertainment. These dual qualifiers are critical to drawing the boundaries for entertainment technology. Firstly, “lights up and makes noise.” This phrase rings a Neil Postmanesque bell somewhere in the distance, He was famous for categorizing concerning technology as anything that emits light or heat. Ironically, as technology has become increasingly powerful, the concept of emitting heat is already somewhat outdated. You can spend all day on your smartphone and not feel your hands warm up under it. Additionally, a greater emphasis must be placed on the auditory aspect of entertainment technology, as listening to audio on the go has only become more accessible. What could be easier than popping in wireless earbuds that connect automatically to your phone? However, the phrase “lights up or makes noise” is not complete by itself. Under this criteria, your electric toothbrush is a piece of entertainment technology. As is your bedside lamp, and your neighbors guitar. Is a toaster really a piece of entertainment technology? Under Postman’s definition, yes. Hence the need for the second qualifier, that which “requires attention and provides entertainment.” Could a toaster qualify under these categories? A hard pressed argument to be sure. Yet without the first qualifier, this statement would have its own issues. “Anything that requires attention and provides entertainment” includes your cat, books, and leaning back in your office chair. It’s only when the two qualifiers go in tandem that a solid definition can be formed (notice, when you flip the qualifiers in the above statements none of the given examples fit). Self-reflection has a broad connotation. However, for the purposes of this essay it will be lashed down tightly. Self-reflection is the critical task of reflecting on one's thoughts, feelings, actions, motivations, and identity. Each of these play a critical role in the unification of the whole person. Remove any from the list and the result is incomplete self-assessment. Even when a person reflects on all but their own thoughts, they end up disconnecting the mind from the body. Thoughts are an extension of the person, and to not reflect upon one’s own thoughts is to not reflect upon the state of your own health. The importance of mental health has gained attention in recent years, as psychologists are re-evaluating the dominance of thoughts in forming behaviors. When a person reflects on all but their own feelings, the result is a stunted emotional life. Exemplified easily in the bottling up of emotion, or the extreme release of it (often a binge/purge combination of both). When a person reflects on all but their actions, they shift inward in focus, not on how their actions have affected others (benefiting or hurting). The result can be excessive brooding or narcissism. When a person reflects on all but their own motivations, the result is a curious blindness. While there may be clarity on what they do, think and feel, confusion on why they are doing the things they are doing, thinking the thoughts they are thinking, and feeling the emotions they are feeling can be debilitating. Motives matter, and a lack of reflection on them limits one’s ability to understand their own self.When a person reflects on all but their own identity, they miss the ability to answer the important “who am I” questions. Wandering through life without a strong sense of identity is a painful thing, and immerses people into situations they would never expect to find themselves in. While the above breakdown is far from thorough, it is morbid. Now picture the collateral damage from more than one of these portions of self-reflection being absent. What might be the results of someone who does not reflect on their actions or their motivations, or their feelings and their identity? Imagine someone who does not take any time for self-reflection at all? The person’s ability to operate is more dysfunction than function at that point. Yet is this not where most people exist today in first world countries? How many people take time to reflect on all five aspects of their personhood? Unless journaling is an addiction running rampant among the population (which addicts are too ashamed to confess), it's safe to say most people are not reflecting well. Cal Newport put it in Digital Minimalism, “When an entire cohort unintentionally eliminated time alone with their thoughts from their lives, their mental health suffered dramatically. On reflection, this makes sense. These teenagers have lost the ability to process and make sense of their emotions, or to reflect on who they are and what really matters, or to build strong relationships, or even to just allow their brains time to power down their critical social circuits, which are not meant to be used constantly, and to redirect that energy to other important cognitive housekeeping tasks. We shouldn’t be surprised that these absences lead to malfunctions.”Solitude is simply the state of being alone. When a person does not have another person in their physical, bodily presence. For the purposes of this essay, solitude is being defined in human terms. Being alone with a german shepherd is still solitude, not for the absence of life or affection, but for the lack of human connection. The Enemy of Solitude Cultivation Entertainment technology strips self-reflection from solitude. Self-reflection is developed in solitude primarily. The primary place you grow in your capacity of understanding yourself is when you’re alone. Thus, solitude really is so essential it must be prioritized and cultivated. But the great enemy to this cultivation is entertainment technology. Think about how often you were bored as a child. How often are you bored now? Now, developmentally a child through boredom learns to engage imagination. As an adult, imagination should still be engaged, but through this engagement the adult learns more about his/herself. But entertainment technology does steep self-reflection from solitude. Upon arriving home from work, generations before the TV still found ways to experience down time. The argument is not for constant engagement, but for legitimately healthy down time. Notice the thesis is not, entertainment technology strips solitude away from people’s lives. People are still engaging in solitude, people still spend time alone, this doesn’t seem to be in danger. The issue is what does entertainment technology take out of solitude. And that’s the crux of the issue. There is a real difference between walking through the woods alone with your thoughts and walking through the woods with headphones in. Time is required to push against the frantic pace of life. But even when resting, most people in first world countries are still engaging in intake. The frenetic pace most of these people are experiencing is like a washing machine at top speed, but instead of turning off after the load is done, their brains still coast at a lower speed. Lonely Versus AloneAs I’ve read various works on the subject of solitude, I’ve begun to wonder if people are more afraid of loneliness than being alone. The two do not have to go hand in hand. In fact, many people experience extreme loneliness even when surrounded by others. Could it be, the loneliness they feel is actually a disconnect deeper than just physical proximity. If the true deep self of a person is never brought forth by that person, their ability to genuinely connect with others will always be limited.
Our language has wisely sensed these two sides of man’s being alone. It has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone.
-Paul Tillich
Yet this very cry of loneliness is an opportunity. There’s a reason the soul is crying out it’s loneliness. Connection is longed for, but that connection must start with even developing the capacity to bring oneself into relationship. How about taking this a little closer to home. If you’re interested in gauging your own ability to slow down, or doubting entertainment technology really has made it challenging to not constantly engage, stop reading this. Turn off all music, set an alarm on your phone for two minutes. Put your phone down, shut your eyes, or at least your laptop. Wait, without entertainment or stimulation of any sort. Why so challenging? Could it be that a mediated culture really does shorten attention span? Perhaps stepping off into healthier solitude begins with creating less mediated opportunities. Time alone set aside for self-reflection needs to incorporate time without taking in media. In order to see any actual change, one must identify where they are taking in media, and where they can afford not to be, and determine how to remove it. This is goal reaching at it's simplest. Step 1: Dream of a Preferred FutureStep 2: Determine RealityStep 3: Design a PlanStep 1: Dream of a Preferred Future The first thing that must be done is to identify what changes could actually be made. The solution is most likely to not remove all technology from one's life. But steps can be made in reducing technologies impact! Examine your last three days, at any given moment where were you interacting with entertainment technology (if needed, reference the definition given earlier in the essay). Write down every single moment you can remember where you were.Step 2: Determine RealityIdentify which of these times were "essential" and which were "extraneous." By essential I simply mean the times you would still like to enjoy entertainment technology. If you decide you would still like to end your week watching The Mandalorian, own your decision. The goal is to identify what you decide is worth removing. The easiest to remove are the in-transit times. As a student, I don't need to check social media in between classes. You don't need to check email on the toilet when you checked it 10 minutes beforehand.Step 3: Design a Plan You've identified how much of your life entertainment technology consumes. You've identified what pieces you are able and willing to remove. Now do so. When you step into those situations you've determined you don't need to be entertained, live into the discomfort of not having what you've grown accustomed to.While initially challenging for many, it's important to remember there is a real re-training of the brain taking place. You are learning to live a leaner life, this takes time.The Trade InI bought an alarm clock last month. I no longer keep my phone plugged in my bed bed, instead it’s plugged in on my desk by my living room. Interestingly, I don’t miss it. Now, I won’t pretend not having it by my bed has made a massive impact on my life, but I believe it is one step healthier. I don’t fall asleep scrolling anymore. I don’t wake up and check email before I’m even out of bed. I get a little bit more sleep (something we all complain about constantly and yet don’t change our habits). I fall asleep now thinking back on my day, or letting my mind wander. Sure I now wake up to a beeping noise instead of my favorite song of the week, but regardless of the noise I’m usually disappointed to be forced out of bed anyway. The concept is this. The addition of new technology in my life is not only beneficial. While each additional app on my phone may have a legitimate purpose, I need to be honest about the trade in. If my phone is my alarm, then I need it to be close by when I wake up. And if I’m honest, when my phone is close, I tend to spend more time before and after sleep than just setting and turning off my alarm. So as a small act of outsourcing, I plug my phone in my living room now. I’ve started to wonder, what other ways can I take back tiny portions of my life. How many pieces of technology could I fracture my phone into. I could buy a flashlight for light, a camera for high quality pictures, an Ipod for music, check email only on my laptop. It’s becoming exciting to dream about the ways I can remove more adept technology from my life, as I’ve realized the ways it attempts to consume more of my time. Because I’m convinced that entertainment technology does not exert a neutral force on my solitude. Perhaps if I had constant high levels of self-control, to only check my phone when I need to. But for me and most humans that simply isn’t the case. Entertainment technology strips self-reflection from my solitude. As I have a high value on solitude, I will find ways to minimize my interaction with entertainment technology when attempting to engage in healthy solitude. Entertainment technology strips self-reflection from solitude, and healthy solitude is critical for human flourishing.
In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion."
-Albert Camus
Work CitedNewport, Cal. Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World. Penguin Business, 2020.Hazell, Chris. Why Solitude Is Necessary for a Healthy, Happy Life. 22 June 2020, grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/health-and-wellness/importance-of-solitude/.