Reclaiming Solitude Amidst Accumulating Distraction

I recently spent 14 days in quarantine, alone in the upstairs of my future in-law’s house. When the spread of COVID-19 affected my community, I needed to take the necessary protective measure of self-isolating. The two weeks spent alone afforded me many opportunities for solitude. A few decades ago, I might have spent the whole two weeks in complete solitude. However, the presence of my electronic devices (namely, my laptop and cell phone) provided me with endless chances to escape being alone with myself. All I had to do was tap my screen and the face of a loved one would appear at the other end, or I could carry on conversations via text. Even if I didn’t feel like talking to a friend or family member, I could pull up social media or a streaming service and watch an endless stream of images that reminded me of the existence of other people and places. While quarantine provided me with the chance to practice prolonged solitude, I found myself able to easily avoid that exercise by way of my cell phone.

Though I was by myself, I was not truly alone. 

Never Quite Alone

In today’s world, there are very few spaces in which cell phones are not physically present. Cell phones are in our classrooms, bedrooms, business meetings, movie theaters, concert halls. They sit out on tables during Thanksgiving dinner, click away on Christmas morning, record during recitals, buzz on dates, light up next to the bed, vibrate on nature hikes. The spaces in which cell phones are no longer allowed are almost non-existent. By nature, this means that a person’s capacity to be truly alone is also almost non-existent. Due to the constant physical presence of cellphones, people are increasingly more incapable of practicing solitude; for this reason, individuals must create spaces where their phones are not physically present. In this paper, I will explore the connection between cell phones and solitude, the impacts of the “necessity” of an omni-present device, and suggest spaces in which the cell phone ought not to be present. 

Merriam-Webster defines solitude as “the quality or state of being alone or remote from society.” While this definition captures something about the nature of solitude, writers throughout the ages (think Augustine, Petrarch, Thoreau, Emerson, etc.) have suggested that solitude, conceptually and experientially, cannot be so easily penned. Diane Senechal attempts to capture solitude's subtleties and nuances in her book Republic of Noise. Solitude, Senechal says, is most often experienced when one is away from the company of others, but not as a hard and fast rule. To illustrate that claim, one merely needs to recall a moment in which they stood in a crowded room and experienced the phenomena of being, in essence, entirely alone. Solitude can be experienced in communal situations, often when one is forced to stand her own ground or to exercise willpower over groupthink. Solitude taps into the fundamental uniqueness of the individual--it allows people to find their own voice and ponderings, away from distraction and clamor (Senechal, 26-29). 

While solitude may not be so easily defined, the poet Petrarch proposes that solitude has three manifestations. He suggests that there exists a solitude of place, a solitude of time, and a solitude of the mind. While Petrarch does not land precisely on what solitude is in De Vita Solitaria, he does offer an interesting, three-pronged understanding of solitude’s nature (Petrarch).

For the purposes of this essay, I will examine the impact of technology on solitude using two of Petrarch’s categories: place and time. While place and time are somewhat divisible, the mind inhabits both space and time. I am choosing to exclude the concept of solitude of the mind, because it is implicitly connected to both place and time, and the nuances of such a concept are endless. 

What's Going On?

Solitude seems to be losing ground as technology’s presence pervades more and more of an individual’s life. Emory University's Professor Mark Bauerlein has devoted much time and energy to observing and understanding the impacts of a shifting technological landscape on education and society at large. He specifically writes on the implications of an increasing digitized world for the younger generations (Millenials on down). From Bauerlein's findings, it seems that using technology conditions the mind for high-speed, visual, self-oriented, and adaptive learning; it also erodes the capacity for careful linear study, memorization, reflection, or non-visual learning (Bauerlein & Bellow, 125-127). Mood regulation and identity development are two major benefits of practicing solitude (Thomas, et. al., 1-2). Solitude allows for introspection and self-reflection, which is key for adolescents and young adults who are still in development stages. Spending time in solitude also may initially lower an individual’s mood, but the re-entrance into community spaces creates a bigger mood rebound, a sort of renewing effect (Thomas, et.al., 2).

Practices like memorizing a poem, learning a language, reading for fun, creating art, or doing a personal research project are becoming increasingly more difficult as each generation grows up with more attachment to their screens. Perhaps this would not be an issue if people were capable of both engaging technology and solitude in a balanced fashion--visual learning at a high-speed coupled with routine practice of linear literacy. However, as one interviewee in Sherry Turkle’s Alone Together puts it, “technology’s pull would not be so bad if we were strong enough to push against it." It seems that each generation that grows up with smartphones in hand and Chromebooks in their laps loses the ability to practice solitude, or an appreciation for it. Professor Ron Srigley notes in a media fast experiment with high school students that his students found solitude, particularly a detachment from their cellphones, to present a seeming physical danger. Without the comfort of a phone, the city is too big, the crowds too menacing, parents too far away, disaster much too close (Srigley, 70-72).

According to a Pew Research Study conducted in 2019, 96% of Americans own a cellphone, with 81% owning a smartphone (“Demographics”). In a different study, conducted in 2020, Pew found that 60% of children in a survey group had begun interacting with a smartphone by the age of 5 (Auxier). With each passing year that cell phones are a norm in everyday life, children experience and interact with cell phones at a younger age. Yet another study revealed that 80% of American adults use the Internet/social media daily, and within that 80%, 48% of the survey group reported that they go online almost constantly (Perrin & Kumar). Clearly, cell phones (and thereby access to the Internet and social media) have become a pervasive, consistent presence in American life. 

The prevalence of cell phones in our spaces goes hand in hand with the ever-present company of distraction. Multi-tasking is prized in America’s fast-paced, efficiency-oriented culture. Multi-tasking, by nature, lends itself to accomplishing multiple tasks at the expense of doing any one of those tasks whole-heartedly (Senechal, 39). The cell phones that consume our hours and minutes have an inherent message, as Postman repeatedly stresses in his book Amusing Ourselves to Death (Postman). Cell phones lure their users away from the present and into the other.  Our gaze is pulled to the next thing, our attention to the buzz or the ding or the lit-up screen. They are constantly updating, changing, pushing us ahead into a hyper-futuristic orientation (Senechal, 39-40). For the consistent cell phone user, it takes serious effort to concentrate on one task, to avoid the sound and the sight of a cell phone that demands one’s attention.

Moments of solitude are jarring, painfully slow, and the uncomfortability of finally slowing down and focusing often leaves solitude at just that--a moment.

We are so used to being constantly distracted that we do not know how to give undivided attention to anything. Our minds are split between work and play, memes and horrific news updates, games and texts, sitcoms and advertisements. It takes work to experience solitude in any given place, and such an experience is not easily afforded by the likes of a cell phone. 

Physically Alone, Psychologically Accompanied

Sherry Turkle and researchers who have proceeded her have identified a phenomenon that accompanies solitary social media use and TV watching. Interacting on social media and streaming TV shows are both activities that can be done when one is physically alone, but they do not allow for one to be psychologically alone. These activities can be used as replacements for solitude, especially when one is uncomfortable with being fully solitary (Thomas, et.al, 3). Keeping a cell phone around at all times, as most American adults are prone to do, provides an ever-present option to escape from uncomfortable periods of solitude. Riding in the elevator, sitting on the toilet, waiting for the bus, walking to work, standing in line at a cafe...these are times that usually afford moments of introspection or self-reflection. However, it’s easier than ever to dial a friend, turn on Spotify, listen to a podcast, text, or scroll through social media in order to avoid the accumulated opportunities for psychological solitude. Every little gap in a work day can be filled with cell phone-mediated distraction. 

For Example...

Consider this imagined scenario: The alarm on Rachel’s cell phone goes off at 6:30am. She spends a few minutes in the comfort of her bed, scrolling through the notifications she missed while asleep. She puts on some light music, goes about her morning routine, then heads out the door for her commute to work. She keeps her headphones in the whole time, and scrolls through Instagram as she rides the train to work. At work, she is surrounded by coworkers and the hustle and bustle of the office. On break, she takes a needed rest and streams an hour of her favorite TV show. She finishes out the remainder of the day at the office, sticks in her headphones, commutes home, and relaxes. She switches on the TV and prepares dinner, then welcomes a friend over to eat. The two share a meal, and Rachel plops down on the couch after her friend leaves to watch a program before bed. As she crawls into bed, she spends her last few waking moments scrolling through Twitter, then sets her alarm and falls asleep.

While Rachel has spent a significant portion of her day physically alone, she has spent very little (if any) of it without any sort of background noise or distraction. She may have conducted her morning and evening without company, but she was not psychologically alone. With the help of her cellphone, she was able to successfully eliminate virtually any opportunity to spend time in solitude. She kept her music on the TV on in the background and scrolled through her phone in the in-between times of her day. 

This story is imagined, but it’s certainly not a stretch of the imagination. As a college student, I have picked up observations from classmates who conduct media experiments that expose just how much time can be filled by cell phones throughout the day. Classmates have commented on how uncomfortable the pauses of the day feel without a cell phone present--the elevator, the bathroom, the time before bed, waiting for a class to start. These are prime times for self-reflection, but are so often eliminated by the ease of submerging into the mediated reality offered by social media and texting. 

For You, O Lord, My Soul Waits in Silence...

It is evident that cell phones are a growing and prevailing presence in the life of most Americans. Cell phones allow an escape from any opportunity to be psychologically alone, virtually eliminating solitude from everyday life. Solitude has been recognized for centuries as a most important practice, but it now takes intentional work to invite solitude back into our lives and routines. 

For the believer, solitude is an important part of the Christian life. Scripture is filled with examples of God-fearing people who needed solitude in order to rest, be restored, or to reconnect with the Lord. Out of silence in the dead of night, the Lord speaks to Samuel (1 Samuel 3). In the Psalms, David testifies that he waits upon the Lord in silence and in stillness in his time of distress (Psalm 62). Elijah finds himself in solitude, out of fear for his life, and receives strength and rest from the Lord (1 Kings 19). Jesus Himself frequently retreated towards solitude. He spent forty days alone in the wilderness, fasting and praying (Matthew 4). He taught His followers that it was good to pray in quiet and in solitude (Matthew 6). After long days of ministry, He retreated to a remote area in order to rest and be refreshed in solitude (Mark 1). He found Himself alone in Gethsemane, crying out to His Father, just hours before His death (Matthew 26). 

Biblical practices of solitude are closely linked to rest, refreshment, and an opportunity to draw near to God. Scientific study has found that solitude provides needed space for identity development and mood regulation. Given these two conclusions, it seems that a return to solitude must be carefully considered. As outlined earlier, one of the strongest forces that prevents individual solitude is the cell phone. I will now move to suggest actions that can be taken to reinvigorate solitude.

The first dimension of solitude that Petrarch proposes, as mentioned earlier, is solitude of place. Solitude can be experienced by virtue of place--in a room full of strangers, on a crowded city street, in an empty house, or out in the woods. The opportunity to experience solitude in any given place is reduced by the accessibility of social media or interactive platforms, such as texting or Facebook Messenger, via cell phone. For this reason, it’s necessary to carefully designate places where cell phones are not physically present. As mentioned throughout this paper, solitude is most beneficial for the psychological benefits of mood enhancing and identity development. For the believer, solitude provides a time of rest and connection with the Lord. With these purposes in mind, I suggest that two different places would greatly benefit from an absence of cell phones and the intention of solitude. The first place is the bedroom; the second is the church.

Rest, Reflect, Repent

Personally, I use my IPhone for an alarm clock. At night, I usually set an alarm as I’m crawling into bed, and in the morning, I have to grab my phone in order to turn off my alarm. In both of these instances, my phone is the last thing I look at before I fall asleep, and the first thing that greets me when I wake up. My interaction with my phone is not limited to merely setting an alarm--I usually catch up on responding to texts and emails and I scroll through social media. I repeat this liturgy when I wake up in the morning. I use my few minutes of leisure before the day begins to scroll through social media and answer texts.

Rather than spending time in my room mentally debriefing the events of the day before I fall asleep, or considering what the day will hold as I wake up, I immediately turn to the company of others, reminding myself that I am not alone before facing the night or the day. 

What if I turned off my phone, or banned it from my bedroom? What would it feel like to meditate on the realities of a difficult day ahead, or to lie awake and relive the events of the previous hours? Truth be told, that thought makes me uncomfortable. I’d rather seek solace in the distraction of my Facebook feed, or turn to a friend to assuage my worries about what the next day holds. When I examine this desire to escape solitude via my cell phone, I am faced with an inescapable truth: As a believer, it is wrong for me to avoid the difficult work of solitary reflection by constantly distracting myself. 

The second place that I have suggested would benefit from an absence of cell phones is the church. A rather anemic ecclesiology has characterized Protestantism as the movement has reacted strongly against association with high-order churches, namely, the Catholic Church. But, if the Church is rightly understood as the actual Body of Christ--sustained by the being and the life of Christ, who has been given the fullness of life that was made available in Christ’s life and death--then surely right practice will follow. What does it mean to carry a cell phone into a place where we expect to meet God Himself, and to share in His life in a most intimate way, both alone and with our fellow believers? I suggest that carrying a cell phone into church diminishes our opportunity to receive the Word of God, as preached by ministers of the Gospel, as well as to focus and reflect on the experiences offered by participating in a church service. Our attention is instantly split when our cell phones vibrate. We have a very low capacity to resist distraction when a text pops up while we follow along with a digital copy of the Scriptures. Cell phones may sit unattended in our pockets or purses, but there are inevitable times when we pick them up and tune out the Word of God or mumble a confession of sin distractedly. This distraction, however minor or fleeting, eliminates a crucial chance to individually receive the life-giving words of forgiveness, to reflect on sin and redemption, or to hear truth spoken aloud. A cell phone may stand in the way of receiving rest and restoration in the presence of God and His people.

If we acquiesce to the temptation to escape the uncomfortable moments of silent conviction, or the opportunity to open our imagination to the wild realities of God and all that He is, we are denying ourselves one of the greatest privileges of Christian life.

In Passing and In Prayer

Finally, I suggest that certain times must be preserved for solitude, which may involve (at minimum) powering off or removing cell phones from the immediate area. The two times that I propose would benefit most from an absence of a cell phone are daily transition periods and times spent with the Lord. 

Recall from earlier the imagined scenario from Rachel’s daily life. Her cellphone usage was characterized by a lot of filler time. The small moments of the day tend to accumulate into quite a large sum--the passing from work to home, the walk down the hall to the next class, using the restroom, riding the elevator, waiting for food in the microwave. However, even the most conscious cell phone user may not notice the sheer amount of time that can be sucked away by any given day’s transitions. These stretches of seconds and minutes may seem innocuous, but oftentimes are the most crucial to determining the mood and outcome of our days. Five minutes passing to another class allows five minutes for reflection on the matters discussed. Two minutes in the elevator allows two minutes to slump against the wall and breathe a sigh of relief as you head home to your apartment. Walking to the bus station offers a breath of fresh air, an appreciation of the weather, and time to plan the fastest route to your destination. These moments are small, but their sum can set the direction for a day. Sometimes, they are the only moments afforded for true solitude throughout the day. By keeping our cell phones tucked away during these transitions, we are able to process the events of the day and appreciate the beauty of our surroundings.

As mentioned earlier, practicing solitude with spiritual intentions is a means of entering into the Lord’s presence and rest. The psalmists, Jesus Himself, the prophets, and the disciples often sought solitude in order to commune with the Lord and to find rest from the stresses of their lives and vocations. There is perhaps no more crucial time to put aside distraction than spiritual solitude. Especially when practiced individually, prayer and meditation are difficult spiritual disciplines. In a noisy and distraction-riddled society, practicing solitude is hard enough; practicing solitude with the intention of reflecting only upon the Lord seems impossible. Prayer and meditation, historically, have been sensory practices. Candles are lighted, incense burns, refrains are sung, words are scrawled down as tangible prayer offerings. Imagine, then, how difficult engaging in a sensory practice like prayer might be if your senses are being pulled towards multiple focus points. The sounds of a phone ringing, the hum of a text vibrating, or the light emanating from a screen are impediments to unbroken focus in prayer and meditation. For times of solitude meant for spiritual reflection, it is best to remove the distraction of a cell phone and wholeheartedly engage in the discipline of prayer and meditation. 

Courage for the Task Ahead

COVID-19 is still stalking through my city, and I once more find myself sitting through innumerable Zoom classes and meetings, livestreaming my church on Sunday, and talking with scattered friends on Facetime. It has never been easier to pick up my phone and enjoy psychological company while I am physically alone. I find myself turning on Netflix in the 10 minute gap between my two classes. During the sermon this past Sunday, I texted two friends and missed at least half the homily. My resolve often weakens, and I let my phone light up at my bedside table. Despite knowing what I ought to do, I cannot summon the courage to be truly alone in these difficult times. Yet as I write these closing words, I am heartened to consider that there is always a new day. Solitude, now more than ever, is frightening, uncomfortable, and even a bit threatening. I may not have the courage to face my thoughts or the quiet requests of my Lord right now, but opportunities for solitude will appear time and time again--in the walk to the breakfast table, in the pause for confession, in the stillness of night, in the breaking light of the morning. Just as those moments accumulate into hours, so can my now-feeble commitment to practice solitude accumulate into a heartfelt discipline. 

By Myself & All Alone

I am by myself, yet not alone,

I spend hours looking at the mirror in my hand,

Kept occupied by the smudged faces of my stock-still friends.

I swipe up, down. Trim left, right. 

By myself, I gather us together. 

In the morning when golden rays steal through the blinds,

I roll over and let blue light wake me up.

In the evening, when the wind collides with my window,

My fingers find the volume button to drown out the creaking. 

I choose what will keep me company. 

But it gets old, the blue light and the smudge and the stock-photo friends--

Though it makes me dizzy, I try to lift my head.

Seems I’ve missed a lot of in-between

Between the dings and the buzz and the light-up screen.

I gather myself and choose new patterns. 

Turns out, just-poured soda fizzes and my floorboards creak,

And I know exactly when the mailman comes down the street.

When I drive, I follow a spindly paper-map line, 

let far-fetched adventures commandeer my mind.

At night, I admire that colossus, the harvest moon.

I discover the joys of napping in the early afternoon. 

Come Sunday, I long for the bread and the wine,

and the indents on my knees left by confession time.

These were just moments,

Thoughts and whims,

Squirmings and yearnings

And temptations to give in. 

Yet from this feeble attempt to put down my phone,

I’ve sighted a strange glimmer 

And some world-things are dimmer

When I’m by myself and all alone.

Works Cited

Auxier, Brooke, et al. “Children's Engagement with Digital Devices, Screen Time.” Pew Research Center: Internet, Science & Tech, Pew Research Center, 27 Aug. 2020, www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/07/28/childrens-engagement-with-digital-devices-screen-time/. 

“Demographics of Mobile Device Ownership and Adoption in the United States.” Pew Research Center: Internet, Science & Tech, Pew Research Center, 5 June 2020, www.pewresearch.org/internet/fact-sheet/mobile/. 

Bauerlein, Mark and Bellow, Adam. The State of the American Mind : 16 Leading Critics on the New Anti-Intellectualism. Templeton Press, 2015. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=e000xna&AN=996646&site=ehost-live&scope=site.

Perrin, Andrew, and Madhu Kumar. “About Three-in-Ten U.S. Adults Say They Are 'Almost Constantly' Online.” Pew Research Center, Pew Research Center, 30 May 2020, www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/07/25/americans-going-online-almost-constantly/. 

Postman, Neil. Amusing Ourselves to Death : Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business . Penguin Books, 1987.

Senechal, Diane. Republic of Noise : The Loss of Solitude in Schools and Culture. R&L Education, 2012. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=ip,url,uid&db=e000xna&AN=413468&site=eds-live. 

SRIGLEY, RON. “Phonely Connect.” MIT Technology Review, vol. 123, no. 1, Jan. 2020, pp. 66–73. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=ip,url,uid&db=f5h&AN=140364560&site=eds-live. 

Tanil, Clarissa Theodora, and Min Hooi Yong. “Mobile Phones: The Effect of Its Presence on Learning and Memory.” PLoS ONE, vol. 15, no. 8, Aug. 2020, pp. 1–12. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0219233.

Thomas, Virginia, et al. “Alone and Online: Understanding the Relationships between Social Media, Solitude, and Psychological Adjustment.” Psychology of Popular Media, Apr. 2020. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1037/ppm0000287.

Turkle, Sherry. Alone Together. New York City, Hachette Book Groups, 2011.