Church is about me
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to your own interest, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among you, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself unto death, even death on a cross. ” (Phil 2:3-8)
Current technologies and consumer trends have caused isolation, individualism, and discontentment among Millennials, affirming a selfish worldview that ultimately distorts the way we see and participate in the local church; therefore, churches must change the way they engage Millennials, challenging our views of self and calling us, in Christ, to selfless service and sacrifice.
Culture has a megaphone:
Ten years ago smartphones did not exist, Facebook was only two-years-old, and Instagram was but an idea. Since then, our ever changing technologies have evolved, and with them, our ideas of ourselves have grown. Millennials, the first ‘always connected generation,’ have grown up individualistic, discontent, and isolated, searching for true intimacy. 
See the following: Constant advertising breeds discontentment, instant grocery and food delivery are just a finger swipe away which has made us self-sufficient and inpatient. When we hold a smartphone in hand for most hours of the day- ever connected to an unlimited network- a heightened sense of individualism is produced, and binge watching Netflix and YouTube can cause extreme isolation. Our minds are constantly fed what we want to hear, propagated the messages we already believe; propaganda is everywhere, affirming what we think we need, want, deserve, or should be. Propaganda is inherently focused on making the person believe something that is already a core belief, and act on it. It is inherently manipulative and self-centered. This selfishness is not a new phenomenon, however; technological influence has continued to affirm our already distorted and egotistical natures to the point that we cannot think of anything apart from ourselves. Our sin natures already whisper that we are our own gods; technology and consumer culture merely affirm that belief.
Individualism: Nothing screams individualistic like creating ulterior identities via social media accounts. We check our Facebook accounts because we desire notifications, transient dopamine rushes of importance. When notifications are not there, we close our screens, truly disinterested in people’s lives, unless it is for the sake of comparing to our own. We engage our platforms to “connect” and “strengthen relationships,” but in the meantime we are busy marketing ourselves, creating an image by writing clever sentences and posting the best pictures. It all goes back to us.
Isolation: The virtual world is inherently isolating. We consume alone and silent, detached from true life and divorced from community, we find fake community and solace in the virtual knownness of our screens, afraid to “miss out”, unknowingly addicted, and ironically connecting with no one, other than our screen. We binge watch hours of Netflix and scroll through hours of Instagram feeds. When we emerge we are surprised at our mental health. Virtual realities are inherently isolating.
Discontentment: Upon awakening, we push the home buttons on our screens, and check our texts and notifications before we even utter a coherent word. We check again, and again, and again, all day long. It is never enough. Though we would never admit it, we want to be needed, known, loved, through our devices. And when these things do not satisfy, we come away empty, angry at others or ourselves, perpetually discontent and determined to ‘make something of ourselves’. We believe happiness is the key, yet the nature of social media forces us to measure our lives alongside others, comparing our lives to theirs and making us perpetually discontent.
Our screens are boxes of digital fabrications, and as we grow ever addicted, we sink deeper into isolation, and deeper into ourselves. In this digital world, we are all that matters: video games, social media profiles, dating sites, Netflix offerings, and online shopping are viewed is all through the lens of our own needs, desires, and wants. We are about ourselves, looking, being, seeming like we have our lives together and believing the lie that we can. Lonely, proud, and dissatisfied, we continue in this cycle of death, convinced that somehow our deepest desires can be met.
Churches perpetuate this self-centered behavior:
The problem is, instead of rising above technological trends, propagandic materials, and mainstream communication, the church has either neglected relevancy or over-integrated technologies and trends to make millennials feel ‘at home’. The modern evangelical protestant church does little to differentiate itself from our technological culture, other than to produce bad media, and affirms these common self-focused Millennial misconceptions:
Church is about me: From the moment I walk in the door, handed a cup of coffee and a handshake, I’m assured that this morning is about me and my needs. I have real hurts, habits, and hangups that the church can fix. Help me. Save me. What we really need is Jesus, what we get is well-intentioned believers with moralistic self-help tendencies, who try to know and love us divorced from Christ Himself. They never expect anything from us, especially not holiness or Christ-likeness. The Church is simply affirming who we already are. They affirm what culture already says: we are omnipotent, but we need help, guidance, support, and we will pander to your every whim to make sure you are happy and satisfied. Church is like a four star cruise.
Church is fake community: The same feeling we get from our social media feeds, we get in our places of worship. We come, and go, feeling discontent and isolated, not because there is a screen between us, but because our interactions are not what we expect. The people seem hypocritical and fake, and we are confused. In fact, in a Barna study 87% of MIllennials saw Christians as judgmental, and 85% as hypocritical. Please give us authenticity and stop pretending like life is perfect, we know it’s not.
Church is entertainment: The sit back, relax, and enjoy the show mentality is ruining our churches because we are learning to view the body as an entity, rather than a living vital body of Christ. We can’t hear ourselves sing, or sing along, and we watch you emcee and ‘rock out’ as if you are running a show. We thought church was about Christ, but it looks like it is about you, or us.
Millennials do not know how to see or participate in church:
We are confused. “Church” claims to be a countercultural force, and yet with its perpetuation of self-centeredness, it is subliminally sending us mixed messages and dichotomizing our lives from biblical truth. You preach that it’s all about Christ: he was a servant to the cross, selfless, foot-washer, carpenter, and sacrifice. But you don’t act like that. You run your church like a business collecting funds, running endless programs, and upgrading facilities for our comfort every year. We feel like customers, so we consume, and in the process we are reminded of our own needs and forget Christ’s life-saving sacrificial person and work. We do not know how to translate these mixed messages. Your church interactions seem ingenuous, your events forced, your worship unnatural, your talk of God self-helpy; you affirm the same thing culture tells us, that Christianity, like everything else in life, is all about us. We are confused. Here’s how:
We don’t know why Christ is important: If we were raised in the church, we might know the true Acts chapter one, Ephesians five, deeply theological meaning and purpose of the church and Christ. It is more likely that we are oblivious, confused and searching for truth; not because we do not care, but because no one has cared to teach us. According to Barna, 44% of Millennial Christians attend church to be “closer to God,” 27% go to “learn about God”, and 22% attend because “the Bible says to go.” Likewise, 39% say they “find God elsewhere,” 35% say “it’s not relevant to me,” and 31% say “church is boring.” Our individualism has permeated the way we think about Christ and the church, to the point that we do not understand Her true meaning and purpose, or where we are supposed to fit.
We find people hypocritical and fake: And when we attend, and take part in the liturgies of the body, we find the people there to be no different than our screens. They cared about getting us in the door (evidence) but not that we’re here, they have forgotten us. We are numbers on an attendance record, dollars in a bank account, souls to be saved. All of this feels vaguely familiar, like the rest of our socially mediated life, we do not know what is real or who to trust. The church breeds the same isolation we feel on our screens.
We don’t understand the hype: We want church to be about Christ, not us. We seek rich content, authenticity, and quality worship. Instead we find repetitive lyrics, poor visual arts, badly orchestrated production, and churches who look more like Rock concert and less like they’re trying to honor God. Because we are dissatisfied with most areas of our lives, church becomes yet another entity to judge, critique, and name.
Church: Teach us how to be the church, teach us who Christ is
This self-centered mentality distorts the church, as it harms us and each other. Millennial digital and social trends must not be ignored, nor the only consideration in church worship. Culture tells us that life is all about us, from our social media profiles, to our constant connectivity, to our endless shows and distractions: we are isolated, individualistic, and discontent. Show us how these things are made new in Christ. Teach us that we were made for more than ourselves. Help us to see clearly. 
The church is sacred because Christ is. It’s righteousness is not in the building, or the members, but her union to Christ Himself. She is one, holy, catholic, and apostolic, as affirmed through the centuries. One. We are one in that though the church is made of believers, she is one in through Trinitarian unity; this is made known in the sacrament of Baptism, Lord’s Supper, and the preached word (John 17:20-23; I Cor. 1:10, 12:12, 27; Gal. 3:26-29; Phil. 2:1-3; Eph. 5:29-32, etc.). This is in direct contradiction to the isolation we know so well. Holy. the church’s holiness comes not from within itself, but from Christ Himself. By participating in Christ, the church becomes holy and sanctified in Christ. (I Cor. 1:2, II Cor. 1:1, Eph. 1:1, Phil. 1:1, Col. 1:2). This is a deep personal holiness found only in our incorporation into the holy one. Catholic. We are catholic in that we are universally in Him, regardless of geographic region or exact denomination. Local and global, visible and invisible. And finally, we are apostolic. Our apostolicity comes from a grounding the apostles witness to Jesus Christ. We receive Christ in his written and preached Word. We cannot truly be both individualistic and apostolic.
Turn our isolation into knownness. Care about our personhood before our attendance record. Know us, and teach us to know others. Christ is the example of intimate relationship and knownness. Because we are intimately known in Christ, we exist to imitate this intentionality in all our gospel relationships.
Turn our individualism into true community. Teach us who we are, united to a triune God, and forever bound to his body and our brothers and sisters in it. Show us, force us, to be in true sacrificial community. Facilitate small groups with diverse backgrounds, ages, and life-experiences. Do not let us stay in our individualistic comfort zones. In a culture of self-sufficiency and self-dependency, remind us that we need each other.
Turn our discontentment into joy and identity in Christ alone. Teach us that Christ is all we truly need and want. Show us that true contentment is not found in ourselves. Give us Christ before you give us programs, events, or shows. We are not used to being truly delighted or satisfied. In Christ, the church can help us retrain our brains by preaching and discipling faithfully, helping us realize that we were created for more than ourselves.
It could look like this: Give us moments away from our technologies and teach us to be free from our ever-connected inwardly focused worlds. Do not be afraid of print programs, hymns and hymnals, liturgical prayers, and asking us to stand when we would rather be sitting. Make us uncomfortable so we can see what the true church is. Treat us with the same respect, and expect the same holiness and responsibility, that you would of any other church member. Call us to higher standards in life and Godliness. Ask us to serve with our time, and give with our money as able. Do not let us remain as we are. Inductive Bible studies are a good thing. Teach us theology, teach us the word. Turn us away from our social networks, away from ourselves, to the ever-faithful one. And always, call us away from ourselves, our inwardly focused worldviews, back to each other, and back to the author and perfecter of our faith, Christ Himself.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to your own interest, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among you, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself unto death, even death on a cross. ” (Phil 2:3-8)
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